Texas Legends...

A couple days ago I was driving home, minding my own business, jamming out to my new favorite song, "Gives You Hell."  I know, I know - a good Mormon girl (mom of 5) isn't supposed to like such profanity, but it makes me laugh, I love the beat and the ho-hum happiness of the how-do-you-like-me-now revenge song.  It's applicable for anybody - an old boss, teacher, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever - it's all good.

Anyway, as I'm thumping along, singing my song, a cop walks out in the middle of the road and sticks out his hand to stop me.  DANG IT!  

He waived me over to the side of the road to park.  He moseyed (in Texas, we mosey) up to my window for the routine I know oh so well - "Do you know why I stopped you?"

With a big smile on my face - "Probably for speeding?" (followed by nervous laugh.)

Officer - "Do you know what the posted speed limit is?"

"Nope, no clue." (another nervous chuckle.)

Officer - "It's posted 45 just as you turned onto the lane.  Do you know how fast you were going?"

Still smiling - "Not a clue."

Officer - "You were going 57."

"Awww crap."

He then asks for my license (my UTAH license, as I haven't updated it since moving to CA, and then to TX - what a slacker!  I told him we recently moved to Texas.  "Recently" is very subjective.) and insurance information.

As he's filling out my info, I start babbling, a nervous habit I can't seem to break (I also babble at the gyno's office) -  "Ya know, you guys are legendary...."

Officer looking up from his writing - "what?"

"My neighbor said cops camp out under trees with their radar guns, and then walk out in the middle of the road and stop you ON FOOT - I thought they were kidding, but that's exactly what you just did!  You're a legend!"

Officer chuckling, "Really?  They don't do that in Utah?"

"Uhh, No, Sir."

After that, I just shut up and let him do his business.

Meanwhile, his partner is still standing in the shade with his radar gun, and pulled over another woman behind me.  I watched in my side mirror as he walked up to her window, and heard her making excuses, and arguing with him.  

MY officer says - "Can you hear what's happening back there?"  I said yeah, as I keep watching and continue my silence.  He said, "She's just digging herself a hole, getting in deeper and deeper."  I didn't say a word, waiting for my sentence.

He looks up from the paperwork and says, "I'm just going to give you a warning today...."

"LOVE YOU!!" I burst out.

Officer chuckles - "Make sure you slow down and pay attention to the posted speed limits."

Me - giddy with relief, "Yes, sir!"

Officer - "Welcome to Texas, M'am." smiling as he walked away.

And that, my friends, is how it's done.  (big sigh)